Our Favorite Jewish Jokes
All jokes adapted by Sal Litvak, the Accidental Talmudist.
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Last Meal And Testament 🤣
Three men, a Frenchman, an Italian, and a Jew, were condemned to be executed. Their captors said they had the right to one final meal before dying.
They asked the Frenchman what he wanted.
“Good French wine and and a baguette,” he requested. So they gave it to him, he ate, and then they executed him.
Next was the Italian’s turn. “Give me a big plate of pasta,” he said. They brought it, he ate, and they executed him.
Then came the Jew. “Please bring me a big bowl of strawberries,” he said.
“Strawberries!!! They aren’t even in season!”
“So, I’ll wait…”
Are You Jewish? 🤣
A woman on the F train turns to the man next to her.
“Excuse me,” she says, “but are you Jewish?”
“No,” replies the man.
A few minutes later the woman turns again.
“I’m sorry, but are you sure you’re not Jewish?”
A few more minutes go by.
“Are you absolutely sure you’re not Jewish?”
“OK, fine. You win. Yes, I’m Jewish.”
“It’s funny,” she says.” You don’t look Jewish.”