The Old Man Confesses

His first time in church

An old man enters a church and goes to confession. The priest slides back the window and the old man says, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I’m 80 years old and earlier this week I was walking home from the library when a car pulled up with two young ladies in it. They said they were on spring break and they asked for directions. We got into a conversation and they offered me a ride home. On the way, they asked me how old I am. When they learned that I’m 80 years old, they asked “When’s the last time you had sex?” When I told them it’s been years, they asked me if I’d like to have a good time. I said sure, so they came into my apartment and for the next two nights and the day in between, hoo whee! They’re still there and they told me that when I get home, they’re going to show me things that a man and a woman can do that I never dreamed of. So that’s my confession.”

“I see,” says the priest. “Tell me, when is the last time you made a confession?”

“Oh, this is my first time, Father.”

“You’re 80 years old and you’ve never made confession before?”

“No, I’m Jewish.”

“Well, in that case, why are you telling me all this?”

“Father, I’m telling everybody!”


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