New Guy At The Pool

“Is this seat taken?"

At a retirement community in Florida, Sadie Horowitz sees a new male resident relaxing by the pool. After quickly touching up her lipstick, she approaches him.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

“Be my guest.”

Sadie makes herself comfortable on the lounger. 

“So, what’s your name?” she asks.


“And where are you from, Howie?”


“Cleveland! My second cousin Irv Rubanowitz was born in Cincinnati!”

“Hmm, don’t know him.”

“Ah, you’re better off. Irv’s a schmuck. Anyway, how old are you?

“Turning 75 next month.”

“Ah a Libra! And what did you do in Cleveland?”

“I was in prison.”

“Prison! And can I ask what for?”

“I was married to a woman who wouldn’t stop pestering me with inane questions, so I finally snapped and killed her with a knife, cut her up with a saw, and fed her to the bears. For this I spent 35 years in supermax.”

Her eyes widen.

“Ah,” Sadie says. “So you’re single?”


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