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Silent Debate

Yitzy the Stutterer

In a medieval city, the bishop decides all Jews have to leave. They cry out in protest and get support from a few nobles, so the bishop proposes a religious debate with a Jew. If the Jew wins, they can all stay. If he loses, off with his head and the rest leave.

That night, the Jews are in tears. No one wants to deabte the bishop, who’s also a famous theologian. Finally, Yitzy the Stutterer volunteers. The rest of the Jews start packing.

On the big day, Yitzy says to the bishop, “E-e-e-veryone knows how b-b-brilliant you are, Your Eminence, and I’m j-j-j-just a simple Jew with s-s-s-stutter. So, let us d-d-debate in s-s-silence.”

“Very well.”

The bishop and Yitzy sit in two chairs facing one another, with hundreds of people watching. For a full minute they sit in silence, tension gripping the arena.

Then, the bishop raises his hand and shows three fingers.

Yitzy stares back and slowly raises one finger.

The bishop waves his hand in a circle around his head.

Yitzy points his finger at the ground.

The bishop beckons to an assistant, who brings him a wafer and a glass of wine. He shows these to Yitzy.

Yitzy pulls out an apple.

The bishop says, “He wins. The Jews can stay.”

That night in the cathedral, the bishop’s students ask him what happened.

“I had to concede, the man was too good. First, I held up three fingers to declare the Trinity. He responded with one finger for the one God common to all of us. I waved my hand around my head to show him that God is everywhere. He pointed to the ground to say God is not in some ambiguous ‘everywhere.’ God is here, now, watching our debate. So, I asked for the wine and wafer to show that God absolves me from sin. And that seemingly simple man pulled out an apple to remind me of Original Sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?”

Meanwhile, the Jews crowd against Yitzy the Stutterer at the victory party, begging to know it all meant.

“Well, f-f-first he said the J-J-Jews have three days to g-g-get out. I told him not a s-s-s-single one of us is leaving. He t-t-told me that this whole city would be c-c-cleared of J-J-Jews. I s-s-s-said I’m staying r-r-r-right here!”

“And then…?”

“N-n-n-no idea. He took out his lunch, so I took out mine.”

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