The New Sharon

A Near-Death Experience

Sharon Leibowitz has a heart attack and is rushed to the hospital. While she’s on the operating table, her heart stops and her soul departs from her body. Sharon appears before God and asks, “God, is that it?” God answers, “No, you have another 30 years to go, Sharon. Enjoy your life.”

Back in the operating room, the electric shocks work and Sharon regains consciousness. She’s overjoyed by her new lease on life. While she’s in the hospital, she decides to make the most of it: tummy tuck, liposuction, breast augmentation. She brings in a hair stylist, beautician, and fashion consultant for a complete makeover.

When Sharon leaves the hospital, she looks spectacular. She steps out into the street, and gets run over by an ambulance and is killed instantly. Her soul goes back to heaven and again she comes before God. She says, “God, what happened? You told me I had another 30 years. Why didn’t you save me?”

God says, “Sharon, I didn’t recognize you.”


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