Martin Waters III

No Jews allowed

Back in the days when the New York Athletic Club was restricted – no Jews allowed – Milton Wasserstein wanted to join anyway, so he changed his name to Martin Waters III. He underwent surgery to give himself a less prominent nose, he traveled to England and studied with a tutor for a year to lose his accent, and, when he came back, he spent another year getting to know some members of the New York Athletic Club.

Finally, it was time to come before the membership committee. The chairman asked him, “What is your name?”

“Martin Waters III.”

“Are you married, Mr. Waters?”

“Oh yes. Dorothy and I have three lovely children. Babs is our youngest, Hunter is the middle child, and Martin Waters IV is our oldest.”

“And your education?”

“The usual places – Eton, Oxford.Young Martin is there now.”

“Very good. And your religious affiliation?”

“Oh, we’re goyim, of course.”


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