A little old Jewish lady (LOJL) gets pulled over for speeding.
“Is there a problem, officer?”
“Yes, ma’am, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?”
“I’d give it to you, but I lost it four years ago for drunk driving.”
“I see. Vehicle registration please.”
“No, can’t do that either. This car is stolen.”
“You stole it?”
“Yes, and I killed the owner.”
“Killed him and dismembered him. His body parts are in the trunk in plastic bags.”
The officer calls for back-up. Within minutes, six police cars circle the LOJL’s car. A senior officer slowly approaches with his hand on his gun.
“Ma’am, step out of your vehicle please!”
The LOJL steps out of her vehicle.
“Is there a problem, sir?”
“My patrol officer said you stole this car and murdered its owner.”
“Stole the car and murdered the owner!?”
“Yes. Open the trunk of your car, please.”
The LOJL opens the trunk. It’s empty.
“Is this your car, ma’am?”
“Yes, here’s the registration.”
“My patrol officer said you lost your license?”
“No, here it is.”
The senior officer examines the LOJL’s license.
“Sorry for the misunderstanding, ma’am. For some reason, my patrol officer reported that you lost your license for DUI, stole this car, and that you murdered and dismembered its owner.”
“Wow. I bet that lunatic told you I was speeding, too.”
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Image: fashion icon Iris Apfel, who at 99 has attitude to spare!