“I vont to go India and see de guru.” 🤣

Mitzi Feingold called her travel agent.

Jews are very spiritual people. Sometimes, a Jew doesn’t realize how rich our own spiritual tradition is, and seeks enlightenment elsewhere…

Back in the 1980’s, Mitzi Feingold, an aging lady with a Yiddish accent, called her travel agent.

“I vont go to India and see de guru.”

“Mitzi, not India! It’s crowded, hot, and too difficult for a lady alone.”

“I vont go to India and see de guru.”

“What will you eat? The food is too spicy. You can’t drink the water. You’ll get typhoid, malaria… Why torture yourself?”

“I vont go to India and see de guru.”

The agent shakes his head, and makes the arrangements.

Mitzi arrives in India. Undeterred by the crowds, she makes her way to the ashram.

She joins an enormous line of people waiting to see the guru. His assistant tells her that it will take at least three days to reach the guru.

“Dat’s OK.”

Eventually she reaches the the golden door. The aide tells her firmly, “You can only say three words.”

“Dat’s OK.”

She is ushered into the inner sanctum. The wise guru is seated, bestowing spiritual blessings on the eager visitors ahead of Mitzi.

Just before she reaches him, the aide reminds her, “Remember, only three words.”

She reaches the guru, looks him straight in the eye, and says: “Sheldon, it’s time to come home!”


Follow Sal’s Greatest Jewish Jokes of All Time on Instagram!

Get the best of Accidental Talmudist in your inbox: sign up for our monthly newsletter.

Image: the former Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Dalai Lama

Share to

You Might Also Like

Sign Me Up

Sign me up!

Our newsletter goes out about twice a month, with links to our most popular posts and episodes.