Goldberg’s Sled

“Who does he think he is?!”

Moskowitz is lying in bed at night. He can’t sleep.

“Everything happens to me,” he says to himself. “I finally get my house set up the way I like it and the landlord tells me I have to move out. I find a new place and the new landlord tells me I have to move in by tomorrow or he’s giving it away to someone else. And tonight there’s a huge blizzard! How am I going to get all my stuff to the new place tomorrow in the snow?? Wait a minute, my neighbor Goldberg has a sled. I can borrow Goldberg’s sled. But what if Goldberg won’t lend me his sled? Not lend me his sled?? I’ve been a model neighbor! I say hello to him every morning! I even lent him my lawnmower! Of course he’s going to lend me his sled! Yeah, but people are funny. What if he won’t lend me his sled? In my hour of need, he’s not going to lend me his sled? When my life is basically over if he doesn’t lend me his sled?! Who does he think he is, not lending me his sled?”

Moskowitz gets so worked up, he puts on his boots, trudges through the snow, and bangs on Goldberg’s door at 2 a.m.

Goldberg finally opens the door and rubbing his eyes asks, “What’s going on?”

Moskowitz, red in the face, yells back: “Goldberg, you can keep your stinkin’ sled!”


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